


stifled

by bellowbacks



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, PTSD mentioned, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 13:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellowbacks/pseuds/bellowbacks
Summary: Lucy kills somebody on a mission, has a panic attack, and Wyatt can't let her drive like that. Lucy sleeps at Wyatt's instead.





	stifled

**Author's Note:**

> here i am again, with more straights! i love wyatt logan i wanna give him a hug and tell him that it'll be okay
> 
> not beta'd, not even reread by me bc i wrote this in like an hour and a half today
> 
> 1 week folks!!!
> 
> 3/12 edit: wow!! i low key predicted part of episode 1 s2!!! i’m basically psychic huh

When they got back, Lucy was absolutely exhausted. They had run from armies before, they had escaped a serial killer, and they had mucked up international politics more times than she could count, but this one had been the most exhausting.

It was physically exhausting, sure, but Lucy was more out of it and mentally tired than anything. Wyatt seemed okay, but then again, he killed people for a living. Lucy had killed twice now, and she couldn’t help but hate herself for it. 

Though, she didn’t want it to be easy, so this shaking, bubbly panic that she felt after this mission was better than feeling nothing.

She must’ve seemed pretty out of it, because Wyatt put his hand on her back to help steady her as she walked down the stairs from the lifeboat. They relayed what had happened, Rufus doing most of the talking, and then went to go change. 

“Hey, you okay?” Wyatt asked Lucy as they walked down to the locker rooms. 

Lucy released her lip from where she had been unconsciously chewing on it. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said with a forced smile. “Just tired.”

“Bullshit,” Wyatt said with a little crooked smile. “I know you, Luce. You’re not okay, and that’s fine. We’re doing some really weird-ass stuff right now,” he said, and Lucy met his eyes. 

“It’s hard,” she said quietly. “I… I’m gonna get changed,” she stammered, changing directions in the middle of her sentence.

Wyatt didn’t say anything else as she hurried into the locker room to get her clothes, but she could feel his eyes on her back. 

The locker room was empty, as usual, so Lucy finally let herself freak out. She could still feel the weight of the gun, Wyatt’s gun, in her hands, and she hated it. She knew she couldn’t go back, but if she could, could she even change anything? What would even happen if she met herself? Could it be any worse than being a murderer?

Lucy’s chest was tight and her cheeks were wet and she stumbled down onto the bench in the middle of the room. She took a few shaky deep breaths and scrubbed her hands roughly over her face. She knew she was probably messing up her makeup, and a small part of her tried to stop. But, when she left here, she was just going to go back to an empty apartment and nobody was going to see her, so who cares?

As soon as she could breathe semi-regularly, she started pulling off her thin shirt and uncomfortable period-accurate bra to change back into more comfortable clothes, which consisted of a pair of dark wash jeans and a sweatshirt that loudly proclaimed “STANFORD” across the chest.

She slipped her shoes on, checked her makeup in the mirror she kept in her locker, and, after fixing a few smudges, put on a smile and started towards the stairs with her bag. 

But, before she went back out into the main room, Wyatt stopped her. They were in a little hallway that nobody ever came through unless they had to go to the costume room, which wasn’t often when they weren’t about to go on a mission.

“Hey Lucy, I was going to say this earlier but I didn’t know how to word it and I didn’t want to fuck up like I normally do when I talk without thinking, so now I’m going to say it,” he said, talking a little quicker than normal. 

Lucy’s heart rate that she had just calmed down started spiking, Wyatt broad and warm in front of her not helping. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, glancing around. “I’m sorry that I put you in a position where the only thing you could do was shoot. That wasn’t fair, you’re not trained and… shooting people is what I’m supposed to do, not you.”

Lucy paused, her mouth agape, before speaking. “I don’t blame you, Wyatt,” she started, and he clenched his jaw and glanced away.

“I do, though. You have to live with this now when it’s supposed to be my job to protect you. I’m the soldier, you’re a civilian,” he said. 

Lucy didn’t respond because she felt the panic in her chest that had been lying dormant since she had pulled the trigger starting to bubble up. She took a breath that came out sharp and pained and tried to turn away from Wyatt, but he caught her wrist and pulled her into his chest in a hug.

Lucy pressed her face into his chest and cried. He ran a hand up and down her back as she cried into his chest, heaving, horrible breaths coming out of her mouth that she knew she would feel embarrassed about later. 

She had no idea how much time had passed when she stopped crying and just let Wyatt hug her for another moment. When she finally pulled away, Wyatt’s eyes were just a little red, but she didn’t comment. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, and when he tried to stop her from apologizing, “I got lipstick on your shirt.”

Wyatt laughed quietly. “It’s okay. You’re… My best friend, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he said, and Lucy bit her lip as she smiled. Then she remembered and her expression dropped back to neutral numbness.

“I don’t want to go back to my empty apartment,” she said and looked at the wall behind Wyatt’s head.

“And I don’t want you driving in this state. I’ll take you back to my apartment, you can crash on my couch,” Wyatt said, and Lucy automatically started to protest, but then stopped herself. She didn’t have to say no, did she? She could let herself be helped by her… best friend. 

“Okay,” she said finally and Wyatt smiled at her. 

“Alright, let’s head out then,” he said and led the way out of the hallway. Lucy pulled out her phone and fixed her makeup quickly before following him into the main chamber of the lifeboat’s hangar. They waved briefly at the people hanging around, including Rufus and Jiya, and then headed out into the parking lot of the facility. 

Lucy went to pull out her keys, and then realized that she didn’t have to and let her bag fall back hanging on her arm. “I’m realizing now that I’ve never been in a car with you in the present,” she said and glanced at Wyatt who was pulling out his keys.

He snorted. “Yeah, you haven’t, have you,” he said and hit the unlock button. “You know I’m a good driver though,” he said with a smirk, and Lucy rolled her eyes.

“And you know that I am too,” she shrugged. Wyatt nodded. 

“True,” he said and stopped next to a grey SUV. He tossed a backpack in the backseat and slid into the driver’s seat, while Lucy just set her bag in her footwell and buckled her seatbelt.

He started the car and the radio came out pretty loudly, making Lucy jump in her seat. 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Wyatt said as he flicked between a few channels. He shot her an apologetic smile and settled on a quiet soft rock channel. He started driving away from Mason Industries, away from the hangar, and Lucy wrapped her arms around herself.

She didn’t say anything, and soon enough Wyatt started quietly singing along to the music to fill the silence. Lucy looked at him, his lightly stubbled jaw moving as he sang. He was completely focused on the road, and she just looked at him. His eyes seemed so much darker at night, when typically they were such a delicate light grey-blue. 

They say the eyes are the window to the soul and honestly, with Wyatt, they were. The rest of his exterior was gruff, grizzled, and very much ex-special forces, while his soft, caring eyes showed his true nature.

The drive wasn’t long and Lucy realized as he pulled into a parking lot that he lived far closer to work than she did. That explains at least why he’s usually there before her.

“Alright, don’t judge me based on my apartment, okay?” Wyatt said with a little smile as they got their stuff out of the car and headed inside. Lucy felt goosebumps touch her arms and she smiled back. 

“I’ll try not to, soldier,” she said softly. They got in the elevator and rode up a few floors until the doors dinged open again. They were both silent, but it wasn’t awkward. It was right.

Wyatt unlocked a door and held it open for Lucy to enter, which she did with a small smile in thanks. 

His apartment was a lot cleaner than Lucy had expected. They walked into a living room, but the door into his bedroom was open and she could tell that even in there, his bed was made, his bookshelf was organized, and there wasn’t any trash or laundry anywhere in sight. 

Honestly, Wyatt was doing better than she was so far as cleanliness. 

“This is it, my apartment,” Wyatt said and gestured around stiffly. Lucy realized that he was nervous and smiled.

“I like it. It’s cleaner than I expected,” she said honestly and dropped her bag on the grey couch that she thought she recognized from IKEA. 

Wyatt set his bag down just inside the door to his room and looked back at her. “Yeah, well. In the Army, you gotta keep clean,” he shrugged. 

“My apartment is a mess right now,” Lucy admitted and touched the back of the couch. 

“Well you did just move in, right?” Wyatt asked and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fair for yours to be messy.” He walked over to the small kitchen behind the living room and got a glass out of a cabinet. “Want a water?” he asked. 

“Yes please,” Lucy said and sat down on the couch. She toed her shoes off and kicked them so they would be next to the couch and not a tripping hazard while Wyatt got two glasses of water from the fridge. He was always thirsty after jumping, she had noticed. She was a little bit, but he always had three or four glasses of water after they got back.

He walked over then with two glasses and set one on the table in front of her. Lucy said a quick thank you. “I’m pretty exhausted after that trip,” he said and took a sip. As he wasn’t sitting down, Lucy took the hint.

“Yeah, go ahead and go to bed,” she smiled up at him. “I’ll be out here.”

“Oh, do you have other pants?” he asked, gesturing to her jeans. “I hate sleeping in denim.”

Lucy shrugged. “No, not really,” she said and sipped her water.

“I can get some sweats you can borrow, or something, if you want. They’ll be big on you but,” Wyatt said and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked nervous for some reason, and Lucy bit the inside of her lip.

“Yeah, sure,” she agreed, and Wyatt went off into his room with a smile on his face. Lucy couldn’t help but feel a little squishy and warm inside at the idea of wearing Wyatt’s clothes, so of course she would take him up on his offer. While he was in his room, she took her bra off quickly from under her sweatshirt and stuffed it in her bag. No way was she sleeping in that.

Wyatt came out a minute later with a pair of grey sweatpants that had “US ARMY” written down one leg. “I just got these, so I’ve only worn them a few times,” he said as he handed them to her. She grinned up at him.

“Alright, thank you,” she said and glanced around. “Bathroom?” 

Wyatt pointed to one of two closed doors. “I’m gonna head to bed, just come get me if you need anything,” he said, “Goodnight, Lucy.”

“Goodnight Wyatt,” Lucy said back as she stood up and went over to the bathroom.

As soon as she was changed and had splashed some cold water on her face, she felt better. Wyatt’s sweatpants were really warm and soft and also Wyatt’s, which was a definite plus.

She went back out into the living room, turned the lights off after fiddling with a few separate switches, and crashed on the couch.

 

Lucy was woken up by a sudden yell and she sat straight upright on the couch. “Wyatt?” she called, but her voice was croaky. She got up off of the grey fabric and tip-toed to Wyatt’s room. She knew she should be scared, but so much had happened to her in so many different years at this point that an intruder didn’t even seem real.

The door was open just a little and light was coming through, so she pushed it open just a little to see...

Just Wyatt. He was sitting up in his bed in pajama pants and a t-shirt, rubbing his face. 

“Hey,” Lucy said softly after swallowing to clear her throat. “I heard something, are you okay?” she asked. 

Wyatt looked up at her and ran his fingers through his short, messy hair. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he said quietly. His eyes were red. 

Lucy stepped into his room carefully, but Wyatt didn’t protest, so she sat down on the edge of his bed. “What’s up?” she asked.

“Bad dream,” he muttered. “Nightmare.”

Lucy frowned. “I’m sorry,” she said, and Wyatt shrugged. 

“I get ‘em all the time, ever since Jess died,” he said and took a sip of water from the glass on his bedside table. 

Lucy shifted in her seat and looked at Wyatt. “I’m still sorry,” she said. “Would company help, or do you want me to go?” she asked. She knew sometimes she needed a hug when she was panicking and other times she just needed to be left alone, so she figured it was safe to check. 

Wyatt was quiet for a moment, and then, “I’ve killed so many people, Luce. Now, in the Army, all throughout history…” he trailed off. Lucy figured that this meant she could stay and scooted up to sit next to him in the bed. 

“This okay?” she said quietly, and he nodded. “Wyatt, it was your job. It still is your job. I understand… You have to do these things sometimes. Now, are you incredibly reckless? Yes. Doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing.”

Wyatt turned to look at her. He was silent for a little while, just examining her face. Lucy realized that her hair and makeup must be a mess, but she didn’t care how Wyatt saw her. He never seemed to care how she presented herself, he just saw Lucy. He was the only one who seemed to ignore the glamour she put over herself. 

Lucy realized now that she was telling Wyatt all these things about duty, but she wasn’t listening to them herself. She had killed somebody she didn’t even know this mission, and she killed Jesse James, but if she hadn’t… Wyatt would have probably died. She was doing her job: protect history. Wyatt was needed to keep history safe. 

“Thanks, Luce,” Wyatt said finally. She couldn’t tell if she had actually helped or not, but he seemed to look a little better. Wyatt flopped back down onto his back in bed and rubbed his face again. Lucy watched him, noting that his t-shirt was from Disney World and smiling. His pajama pants had Star Wars ships all over them. 

“I’m always here for you,” she said with a little shrug, even though he wasn’t looking at her. 

“Stay, then?” he said, very quickly after she finished. He pulled his hands away from his face to look at her with something that looked a lot like hope and a little like fear in his eyes. 

Lucy paused to think for just a moment, chewing on her lips, before nodding. “Okay,” she said softly and layed down next to Wyatt. He turned to face her right as she rolled away from him, so he just pulled the blanket over them both and turned the light off. He set a gentle hand on her hip, obviously not going to do anything else unless Lucy gave the Okay (what a gentleman) so she shifted back in the bed until her back was against his chest.

“Night, Wyatt,” she whispered as she set her hand over his on her stomach.

“Goodnight, Lucy,” he mumbled against her neck. Lucy took a few deep breaths, closed her eyes, and focused not on the fact that Wyatt was spooning her, but instead on the fact that anybody was touching her at all. Though, it didn’t hurt that it was Wyatt, the man she had been slowly but surely falling for for months. 

It was an incredible warmth, and she wanted to be smothered in it forever.


End file.
